Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Heaviest man eyes slimming record

Heaviest man eyes slimming record
By Duncan Kennedy BBC News, Mexico

Losing 185kg (29 stones) in body weight might seem like an extreme way to get into the record books. But that is what Manuel Uribe from Monterrey, Northern Mexico, has done.
Now the world's heaviest man is on track to become the planet's most successful slimmer.
Put another way, his weight loss in one year is the equivalent of shedding two fully grown adult males from his body.

Manuel is already in the latest edition of the Guinness World Records as the heaviest living person. That's because, not long ago he weighed 560kg (88 stones), or half a tonne.
A demonstration of how much weight Manuel Uribe lost: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7508234.stm
Watch this too:

Supervised diet
Supersized by nature, he has now downsized through diet and willpower. Please turn on JavaScript. Media requires JavaScript to play.

And that will put him in the record books again. "Look at my face," he says. "I have lost a lot."
Manuel puts it all down to something called the Zone Diet. The diet, supervised by a team of scientists and nutritionists, consists of a strict formula of carbohydrates, proteins and fats.
It's about controlling hormone levels in the body, particularly insulin and glucagons.

Those behind the diet say that when these are at the correct levels through the right intake of food, anti inflammatory chemicals are released to keep the body's weight in check. They say the body then uses its stored fat for energy, thereby causing weight loss.
"Life is good now because food is medicine," said Manuel. "If you have the right food your body gets what it needs. If I can lose weight, anyone can."

Manuel certainly doesn't starve himself to achieve his weight loss. He eats roughly five times a day. His lunch was a plate of chicken cooked in olive oil with broccoli, tomatoes and slices of raw red pepper.

Mother 'proud'
He can eat fish, chicken, some meat, many types of fruit and pretty much any vegetables, but all in strictly controlled portions called 'blocks'. He is even allowed one fizzy drink a day - sugar-free, of course.

"He likes his food," said his mother, Otilia. "But I am very proud for what he has achieved in the past year."

The Zone Diet is controversial.
The American Heart Association doesn't recommend diets high in proteins. It also says there is not enough evidence about the long-term effects of being on the diet.
The Zone Diet's backers say they have a lot of evidence to prove it is safe and that it is not 'high protein', as such.

They say that the amount of protein a person absorbs depends on their height and build. They say that goes for carbohydrate and fat intake as well.
Manuel's weight problems are partly genetic, partly down to overeating.
His scale of morbid obesity puts him in the top half of one percent of overweight people.
Extreme case

Dr Roberto Rumbaut, a surgeon in Mexico who specialises in obesity, puts Manuel's case in perspective. "Manuel Uribe is an extreme case," he said. "Where the obesity crisis lies is in people who are 13 to 31kg (30 to 70lb) overweight."

Dr Rumbaut said there were 1.6 billion overweight people in the world, of which about 450 million are obese, according to figures from the World Health Organisation (WHO).
"It's these people who are putting pressure on health services everywhere," he said.
Dr Rumbaut says it's not just diet that will resolve what has been called the world's "globesity" problem.
"It's the old fashioned stuff like exercise and lifestyle changes," he said.
Back at the house, Manuel sits on the reinforced steel bed that he has not left in six years.
Next to it is a massage machine that he uses to draw the circulation along his limbs. His only movement is to use his hips to swing himself from the lying down position to sitting upright.

New girlfriend
It is a dream of his to walk. It's a dream shared by his new girlfriend, Claudia, who has helped to wash, feed and encourage him through this last year or so of dramatic weight loss. "We are very happy for the effort he has been making recently," she said. "Sometimes he is sad and cries because he cannot get off his bed. But he is an example for other obese people to move forward. As he says: 'If I can, you can'."

Alongside his copy of the Guinness World Records lies another text, The Bible.
"I have Claudia, my mother and God to thank," said Manuel. "I am happy."
Still larger than life, but now, the incredible, shrinking, Manuel Uribe.
Story from BBC NEWS:
Published: 2008/07/31 04:23:33 GMT

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Drunken Swede tries to row home

Drunken Swede tries to row home

A last drink proved one too many for a 78-year-old Swede who fell asleep while trying to row home - from Denmark.
Reports say the man had been drinking in the Danish town of Helsingor but found he did not have enough money for the ferry home to Sweden.

Instead of waiting until morning, he stole a dinghy and tried to row the 5km (three miles) across the Oresund Strait to Helsingborg, police said.
But he fell asleep half way and drifted until he was rescued by the coastguard.

The man, who has not been named, was found still asleep in the bottom of the boat, and towed back across the strait - a busy shipping lane - to Denmark.
He was put on the next ferry home after he had sobered up, writes the Danish news service Ritzau.

Police said the owner of the dinghy had decided not to press charges, Reuters reports.

Story from BBC NEWS:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/europe/7482551.stm
Published: 2008/07/01 00:19:51 GMT

Monday, June 23, 2008

Obama is Hanuman Bhakth !!

India monkey god idol for Obama

A group of Indians are planning to present a statue of the revered Indian monkey God, Hanuman, to Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama.

The group decided to order the idol after they read a magazine report saying that Mr Obama carried a good luck 'monkey king' charm.

They say that a Barack Obama victory would be good for India.

Hindus revere monkeys which they believe are descendents of the monkey God Hanuman.
The two-foot tall, 15kg gold-polished, brass idol has been made as a present for Mr Obama because "he will be good for India if he becomes the next president," according to Brij Mohan Bhama, leader of the group.

Mr Bhama belongs to the ruling Congress party and also runs a textile mill in the western city of Mumbai.

'Monkey charm'
"We have heard that he carries a small monkey charm in his pocket. So he is a devotee of Hanuman. That's why we want to present him with this idol," he said.
Mr Bhama and his friends have also invited Carolyn Sauvage-Mar, chairwoman of the group, Democrats Abroad-India, to a meeting they are holding on Tuesday to pray for Mr Obama's success.
The Delhi-based group registers voters, sponsors events and occasionally hosts

Democratic Party leaders visiting India.

Mr Bhama is hoping that Ms Sauvage-Mar will pick up the idol and arrange it to be delivered to Mr Obama.
"They have invited me for the prayer. I am happy to go to bring best wishes to Obama," she said.

She said she would talk with the organisers and find out whether she would be able to help in shipping the idol to Mr Obama.
Ms Sauvage-Mar said the people organising the prayer meeting for the presidential candidate had possibly read a Time magazine article which mentioned that Mr Obama carried a "monkey king good luck charm".
"Senator Obama has a good luck charm. We don't know whether it is of Hanuman. But the people here think it is Hanuman," she said.

Mr Bhama says he is an ardent supporter of Mr Obama - even his email identification is bhamaforobama.
"Obama stands for change. We are hoping that he will bring about change so that oil and food prices come down," he said.
"India will progress if he comes to power."

Story from BBC NEWS:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/south_asia/7468662.stm
Published: 2008/06/23 09:32:07 GMT

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Disasters around the world...


Tuesday, June 3, 2008


Darling! plzzzzzzz!!! let me explain!!!!!!!!!!!!


Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Check Republic !!!

Czech Republic...or Check Republic ???



Didn't get the humor ?? "Check" out the "Czech" flag !!

Source: http://pakistaniat.com/2007/05/11/pakistan-czech-republic-flag-diplomacy-check-checkered/

50 Cents Barbeque Maker !!


Euro English !!

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.


As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as Euro-English (Euro for short). In the first year, 's' will be used instead of the soft 'c'. Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard 'c' will be replaced with 'k.' Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.


There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced by 'f'. This will make words like 'fotograf' 20 per sent shorter.


In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.


By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' by 'z' and 'W' by 'V'. During ze fifz year, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou', and similar changes vud of kors; be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.


After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil b no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.

Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

Vande-Mata-ROME

Italy versus EU
http://tcc.itc.it/people/rocchi/fun/europe.html

Monday, May 19, 2008

Imaginary Friend...


Source: http://nfccomic.com/comics/205.jpg

Hat Tip : Lord Krishna Kowlgi

Saturday, April 19, 2008

India adventure ends for runaways

India adventure ends for runaways
By M Ilyas Khan
BBC News, Karachi

Two Pakistani boys have been reunited with their family days after they strayed into Indian territory after running away from school.

The boys say they were beaten by Indian police, who suspected them of spying.

A Pakistani official said the boys were returned under a deal requiring the two countries to return innocent citizens straying into each other's territory.

In the past, people crossing the border by mistake have been arrested and charged with spying.

Stole money

The two boys, Azhar Ali, 16, and Zohaib, 10, who are cousins, left for school on the morning of 10 April but did not return home.

"We walked for a day, then took a train, and then a bus to the border which we crossed on the third day," Azhar Ali told journalists in the southern city of Hyderabad, where the boys were handed over to their families by the Sindh Rangers, the Pakistani paramilitary border force.

Azhar said he had stolen some money from his father which the boys exchanged for Indian currency.

"We just wanted to go sightseeing," said Zohaib.

Azhar said that once across the border, they gave themselves up to the police and asked to be sent home.

The boys said the Indian police beat them, accusing them of having been sent across the border by the Sindh Rangers.

"They set up a machine before us and said if we lied, the red button would flash. But the button flashed even when we told them our names," Azhar said.

The Sindh Rangers director-general said the Indian border security force had been very co-operative and helped to get the boys back quickly.

The boys' parents said they had lost all hope of ever seeing their children.

"In a way, they have been reborn to us," Zohaib's mother said.

The parents admitted that their constant scolding of the boys over school matters caused them to run away.

Story from BBC NEWS:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/south_asia/7354191.stm